moments..

Moments like these my mind becomes plagued with suicidal thoughts. I start thinking of ways to kill myself or how one day i will snap and just end it right then and there without giving it much though. How after i am dead i wont have to worry about my future any longer or get depressed over every little thing...as i start thinking about all these selfish thoughts of mine, the images of my family crying over the loss of their dead daughter and sister brings me to tears. Imagining what my parents and bros would go through haunts my mind as well. I dont want to cause them suffering and i know i should stop thinking this way..but there r just moments when i want everything to end...i dont want to think about anyone getting hurt, i just want to let go...and im afraid dat one day i will..