isn't the last day of the year suppose to be a wonderful day...so why isnt it? For me it feel like an other day... Im not as happy and as excited as other peeps are... i dont know why i just am not... when i woke up i took a shower (somewhat excited to go to my friends house)..well i dont know when exactly all that enthuasim left. Because just then all my energy was gone, and i felt empty. When i went to my friend's house later i didnt feel like myself... it was hard to just talk and smile and act like everything was okay..because it just wasnt.. I even felt i ruin R time when i was there. She turned quite when i didnt try to talk to her.. she even gave me this kyoot cuddly bear (i named him shorty) and how did i repaired her back with silence... i feel like such a douche.. :[ anyways i hate this day because once i left my friend's house i became even more depress and had sooo many negative thoughts at my cousin's house... finally im home...but still nothing has change... anyways i hope you guys have a wonderful New years. I really do.
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