Decisions, decisions

I really want to hurt myself, I finally took out the blade I had...but I just keep placing it against my skin without actually making the cut. I imagine how good it will feel, and I really just want to slash away lines into my arm.  But the small reasonable self is telling me no... and also how will I be able to hide it this time...unless... ugh...no

Why is this?!

Why must my mind keep replaying all those non exsistant possiblities?
Just stop!

What my dark thought usually consist of...

I don't want to die but I deserve too...

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