Dream of mine

I had this very nice dream...I'm not really going to talk about it because if I do it's only going to trouble me further...and I told myself I was going to stop with this. But overall I loved my dream. It felt so real and I was so happy. Even though I kept it hidden in my dream as how I did in reality, I was much at ease there about it then I was here. Sadly I woke up and was quite disappointed. Oh well back to reality.

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5/25/10

Dear Journal,

I want to tell you some things...first of all its nice knowing that a dude can like me for just me. Adrain is he's name...and he said he liked me and that he would like to go out with me but i declined cuz i see him as a friend and anywho it turns out he is in love with some chick in L.A. he's trying to forget about her . And im not mad...he's my friend after all. We message back to each other a lot. I like that, it feels nice. I think i can finally open up to someone other than G and R... G is another thing. ... im confused, i like her...i think i do... but sometimes i just like biting her...i dont know..remember that dream about me biting a chick that kept tempting me? Well yep that was her... and i just cant seem to understand if i like her or her neck... Anywho she has danny-boy,,,which i sometimes find myself jealous of... gah, its just a phase thing, i hope..

COMMENT: It turned out it was just an obsession. She is a really good friend and i could always count on her so i tried to form a different type of likeness towards her... well i did..but i finally told myself the truth and yeah.. i dont see her like that anymore..she's just a friend. A really good friend :] that im lucky to have.

5/28/10

Dear Journal,

Lots of weeks have passed..im finally a junior. Well anywho i had another dream about him. JM. It all started like this: I went my friend G's house and found J and Amanda in her room chatting. I was sooo happy to see him there but i tried not to show it, i was acting natural and conversating with them. I dont remember what we were talking about precisely, all i remember was that i was propped on my elbow just chatting it up... some time passed and it was time for him to leave. I was so sad because i was afraid i wouldnt see him again. SO he gave G & A a goodbye hug. And then they suddenly went to check something out the window. When he stood in front of me, i stood on my knees and hugged him. What he did next surprised me. He gave me a kiss on the cheek..my reaction was to blush and laugh and say stupidly, "What was that?" when in my head i was squealing with joy. He looked at me and grinned so cutely and then he left. Just like that. A & G were like "What just happened?" and told them and yeah then i headed home all happy thinking to myself 'i have to tell ritz!'..and yep thats when i woke up. I was sad since it felt so real! either way i still told ritz that day in school...i think she thought i was insane...shoot i think i am...Also like days before my dream JM replied to my Happy B-day wish i had sent him..it wasnt nothing special but i couldnt help smiling so retardly wen i saw the message.....lolz?

COMMENT: The funny thing about these of him is that he acted a whole lot differently than he did in real life. It's like he was a whole different person. I think i never like JM. I liked the guy i created in my dreams. Sure he looked like him but he sure as hell didnt act like him. I made up a whole different person...so i guess i dreampt up my other half...

Dream

I had a dream last night. It was so vivid. I seriously thought it was happening for reals. Anyways i remember some stuff- not all of it since it has become fuzzy once i woke up... The person i like was in my dream. I dont really rememember where we were at, it looked like my school in some classroom. Their were students that her and me knew...and then we started talking about something. We sat in the back seats ,she was behind me and i sat in front of her. Their was no teacher and it was only peeps we knew... everyone was scattered around. Her and I were in the back just talking and then i dont know how it happened but she leaned in as if waiting for me to take the next move..and i was sooo debating it but then i made up my mind and kissed her.. And like literally their was a spark going through our lips... And thats when i woke up with a start. ...A part of me wished it did happened in real life... :/