Horrible Night

Today I was forced to go to a party with my mom and sis. When I first got their I already hated it but it was at least bareable..but as the night progressed I started getting angry, then I started thinking all negative about peeps and me and after all those negativity/insecurities became too much I almost started crying in public. I never cry in public, so going through this emotional state was hard to control. I did it but whenever I went somewhere alone a tear would sneak out of my eye...it was a very long night...and wen I finally got home I just went outside and hanged out with the dogs just to take my mind off things. It helped a little...not a lot..but I guess dats something..

Reject

I dont know if its silly of me to feel this way...i invited 3 of my friends to a party (the fourth friend that I wish could go was, sadly, not in town)...they decline but not bc they were rude..they had another party to go to. It wasnt their fault..and i told them it was okay bc it truly was...but even so...when i went to bathroom i found myself crying...I didn't feel okay, I found myself being selfish...for some reason i felt like i was being rejected by my friends. And even when they said That if they could they would totally go with me..I honestly didnt believe them...Because who would want to go anywhere with me? I'm not a fun friend at all...im not worth being with...and that is just the sad truth...