When will this end.....

.

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The voices in my head

Why can't they just shut up
They hurt me and they know it too
They like hurting me

After last night's crying events
Today I just felt so down
Now I have my last late class
And suddenly seeing the intensity of the class is making me want to go back to crying...

This will always be me

I start thinking about ending it, how much I deserve it
But then I see their faces and it just makes me cry so much
I see their pain and though a part of me really thinks I should bury myself under, the other can't help but see the mess I would continue to leave behind...

Let me stay

This is why I didn't want to come back home so soon.
Because I then start crying for not being able to stay.
And I so badly want to just stay.
I don't want to be 6 hrs away.
I want to be home.
Why can't I stay...
Please let me stay...

What's so great about the new years?

Failing

So yesterday night, my botany professor decided to post our final grades.
I didn't want to check it out but I just had to obtain to know
And of course the result wasn't what I hoped...
Actually I don't even know why I thought I might have had a chance in passing. I mean all I'm good at is failing my classes. I don't even know why I bother anymore. I don't see me having any sort of future. All I see is more pain, and honestly I just want to end the pain with one swipe...
Or so I say...
Im sorry, I'm in a very dark place right now.
Failing my science course once again reopened the fresh wounds that hadn't healed yet...

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