someone new

This isn't how I wanted to start this. I actually had something else written before I couldn't manage to make my point across that I decided to delete it and start over. This time instead of getting all wrapped around my own words i'm just going to cut to the chase.

I met a new friend this semester. 

She's 2 years younger than me ( i think)

She's emoish, shy, weird, fidgety, depressing, and cute. 

I think what I like the most about her was her depressing side.

I know that sounds wrong of me but i'm being honest. 

I can't help it, she expressed herself to me and I somewhat expressed myself to her as well. 

In a way I feel like we understand each other, maybe not completely but almost. 

I like her

she's a cool person. 

Can't fix

I have a problem
I know that
I truly do
But I don't want help
It won't do any good
It would be just a waste
Just like myself

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Evil thoughts

My mind is an evil place.
It's always feeding me with lies
Lies that only manage to break me
It enjoys my pain, enjoys knowing that with one silent word I can explode into a ball of nothing
Lately it's been getting worse
It's taunts of how worthless I am have started to affect me badly
Now I don't look forward to the future
Now all I can think about is grabbing a blade and ruining my skin with intricate designs
I have no future
And that scares me

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It's just a matter of time...

Of me being brave enough to end it....

It's for the best

I shouldn't be selfish wen it comes to em
It's time for me to let go of something that never existed
It's for the best. 

My blog is too depressing

Reading some of my old posts I realized that the majority of it has hit rock bottom. Their isn't that much of happy writing on here, which only makes me wonder....Will I always be like this?

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When will this end.....

.

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