Dear Journal,
Its been soooo long...so long that its already 2011..so many things have happened and i want to tell them to you. Well first of all i started somewhat hurting myself again. I did two in my arm and on my chest/wrist..well yeah i made a tumblr account where i put all of my depressed feelings and issues i had/have. Well everything was going good until Ritz & guada found it. Quite obvious since its 'SWEETBLOOD'. Well G hasnt read my older posts... hopefully... but R did. She confronted me in our folder. and well i felt shitty... it was very sad..but then we talked about it some more and things got a little bit better...but sometimes i wonder if she read the posts were i said i liked G...because now i LIKE her. Im not sure if its something like i felt toward G..it feels a whole lot different... from any of my other crushes... recently i have felt her more... like when she would get closer and i feel myself flushing from her near proxomity... im soo confused!
COMMENT: i havent hurt myself in a while... even though i sometimes want to i just dont..i have self control... im trying to keep it like that.. about R..i still like her... its november now... wow i have to say she's been my longest crush... and i just cant get her out of my head.. their was a while wen i locked my feelings away since she had a boyfriend... and she wouldnt hang out dat much with Anderson and me..even though i missed her it became easier to not think of her like that..but then she broke up with him and i started to notice things.. and it turned out she likes me too... i part of me is really happy to know that but another is sad because their cant be anything b/t us since i would only hurt her in the end... no matter how much i wish... anyways till this day i still like her... she's truely a great person... anyones lucky to be with her... :/
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